I Love You Always
by Lucky Th13rteen
Summary: There was always one piece missing from Harry's life. A forgotten letter cements everything he has hoped for and confirms his worst fears - that he might truly be alone after all.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and settings are products of JK Rowling and belong solely to her. **

**This story is the product of random fanfic readings which led me to find a way to continue my two-part Severus/Lily saga to become a trilogy of sorts. If you haven't already, read **_**What Should Have Been **_**and **_**What Can Now Be.**_** This will be a twisting of both plots and events, wherein – well, you'll see. **

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_My dearest son Harry,_

_If you are reading this then I have died before I could tell you the truth; you have found the letter I left for you in our Gringotts vault in case something one day were to happen to me. It is my biggest regret to have committed the deceitful actions I will tell you about - everything done for love but my own selfishness played a role in the choosings. You have been the greatest joy of my life and however the events may have affected me are nothing in comparison to receiving the gift of a child in return. I cannot express my sorrow for the unfortunate circumstances under which you are learning this truth - I have been awaiting the day when I could tell you about the events that led to your birth. _

_In the last months of James and I engagement before our wedding we argued constantly, the stress from Voldemort gaining power and the pressure to maintain a care-free outlook strained our relationship and for a couple of months we were technically separated. We agreed that James was needed elsewhere under Dumbledore's orders, that he should go where he was most useful and I would remain in our new home in Godric's Hollow, presumably to continue planning our wedding and remaining the blushing bride-to-be. _

_It was not too long after James had left that I ran into my old friend, Severus Snape, in Diagon Alley. We had grown up together as children and maintained a tentative friendship in our early years at Hogwarts. During our Fifth Year, Severus said a slew of hateful remarks that ended our companionship and I had barely seen him since we graduated several years before. Already lonely, I encouraged Severus to come by the house for tea, pleading with him until he relented and agreed to visit. _

_Our relationship picked up where we left off and we quickly grew to spend all of our days together. Then one morning I woke up and realized I was in love with him. At first I thought I should have been guilty because I had promised myself to James but I couldn't stop my heart from racing when I thought of Severus. I had known that he had been in love with me and to this day I blush when remembering a heated summer that he and I spent together before our Fifth Year. It didn't take him long before Severus noticed something was different about me and I admitted my feelings straight away. I knew James could return any day and I selfishly wanted to have my turn with Severus before life came crashing back down. _

_Sometime in November I learned the truth behind Severus' lengthy stays with me, why he was able to spend weeks at a time with me without worrying about a job. Voldemort summoned him in the middle of the night and I awoke terrified that someone had broken in to the house. Suddenly I saw the burning Mark on his forearm that had always been concealed. There had been rumors floating around about his involvement with Voldemort but I had chosen to ignore the gossip until I saw it for myself. He could not deny his role any longer and Severus pleaded with me to understand. He said that he had had nowhere else to go, no one else who cared about him except for the Death Eaters and their ghastly Master. I couldn't see past the ingrained beliefs in my mind about the Dark side and Severus begged me to reconsider when I told him not to come back once he was finished with his meeting. _

_I was furious. And heartbroken. I cried for days, utterly saddened by Severus' deceptions and my traitorous heart that still loved every piece of him. Then, as if by a miracle, James returned. He assumed my tears were of happiness at his arrival but I wept harder for the perfect timing that ended my affair with Severus. _

_We were married right away, foregoing the elaborate ceremony for a trip to the Ministry and a lavish reception with close family and friends afterwards. It was not long before I became very sick, luckily for me while James was out of the house on another mission. I called a Mediwizard and he confirmed what I had already deduced - that I was pregnant. The doctor ran the necessary tests and announced that I was much farther along than I should have been. _

_Severus Snape is your true father, Harry. I still loved him with all of my heart when I realized the truth but I couldn't go back to him, knowing he was a Death Eater and already having committed to James. Neither of them know. I wanted to tell him when I told him of my pregnancy but the complete happiness on James' face made me feel guilty for my wrong doings. _

_As of now, on the 15th of September, 1981, I have not seen Severus since I kicked him out of our house that November night. I think of him constantly but he is a distant second to the man who has my heart now - you. _

_I am so sorry Harry that you had to find out this way. I have done everything I could to protect you but my lies have surely caught up to you now that I am not there to defend my actions. I am sorry that you did not grow up knowing your real father and that I have played a role in any unhappiness you have endured. We are worried now about Voldemort's attack and we have taken every precaution available but I still needed to write this down for you to read if something comes to happen. _

_I love you so very much, Harry, never forget that. I can only hope that you find this letter before it is too late and you never know the truth behind your parenting. I also hope to not have to one day retrieve this letter from our vault after placing it there in vain - I do wish to tell you this myself but I do not hope for circumstances to lead me to dispose of these papers before then. _

_Severus is a good man, Harry, and I only wish for you to know him as I do so you may one day see that. Do not blame him for my mistakes, Severus only meant to love me. You are the product of that love, Harry, and my greatest desire for you is the chance to understand the truth. _

_._

_I love you always _

_._

_Your Mother_

_Lily_

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><p>It was only a handful of days after the Great Battle at Hogwarts but in his hurry to start the new chapter in his life, Harry had rushed to Gringotts to retrieve money, never anticipating the life altering letter he had found instead from his mother. He had meant to return to the Weasleys once he was finished in Diagon Alley but he changed his mind when he briefly opened the letter, only seeing that it was from his mother before deciding he needed to be somewhere more private when he read the words. Harry could only think of one place that would give him comfort now and immediately Apparated there when once he was out of sight.<p>

A majority of the security wards had been dismantled on the day of the Battle and now Hogwarts was open for any witch or wizard to Apparate directly to the grounds. The castle was completely empty, not a soul there for him to wander upon and Harry took relief in knowing he was truly alone right now. He had chosen the Quidditch pitch to silently read Lily's letter and he was quite glad the stands had mostly been demolished during the fight because as he sat propped up against one of the goals posts, Harry felt the air sucked from his lungs as his chest tightened but his emerald eyes kept retracing the handwritten words.

Snape was his father. Not James Potter - but Severus Snape.

Harry felt his mind rush backwards, his head jerking against the metal post as everything seemed to slow and blur at the same time. By the time he had read the letter four times, Harry felt the burning tears scratching at his dry eyes. He doubted the possibility that this was a fraudulent document seeing as how no one but himself had a key to their vault in Gringotts. This one sheet of paper held the biggest secret and the final piece to the puzzle that was Harry's life.

When the rapidly building grief became too much, he squeezed his eyes shut and let the hot tears seep out of the corners, slightly fogging his glasses and leaving large tracks down his bruised cheeks. Everything now made more sense - why Snape had mercilessly taunted him throughout the years, never seeming to have gone far enough with his cruelty. Even after viewing his memories, Harry had known that Lily had had a relationship with Snape but he had not realized just how far it had gone. A load invisibly weighed down his shoulders as he sadly realized what poor luck he had, or maybe it was his timing.

If he had thought to go to their vault for personal items from his parents, he would have known the truth and would have been able to build a relationship with someone who could love him as he so desperately desired. All Harry had ever wanted was a family and the one opportunity he should have had for happiness had died in his arms in the Shrieking Shack.

Harry felt the deaths of so many people on his conscience and now Snape's untimely expiration left a gaping hole in his chest where the guilt and depressing sadness was gnawing away at him. He had lost his parents once and royally mucked up the one relationship that had survived Voldemort's first reign of terror without either knowing it existed. Harry quietly wept for the brave man he had thought he hated over the years but who he now knew he admired above anyone else.

But like so many other things in his short, action filled life, Harry Potter had lucked out in inadvertently knowing his real father without realizing that his git of a Potions Professor would someday impact his life beyond the realm of schoolwork and detentions. And for that, he was glad - it was nowhere near the perfect relationship he had hoped for with a parent but Harry found a blip of happiness in knowing that he had not been as alone as he thought he had been all these years.

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**A/N:**

**Thank you for reading! This was a spur of the moment idea but it took me a few days to get it all out. **

**If you like it, hit that little blue button just below here and let me know :) **

**ALSO - if you like this plotline, the whole Severus is Harry's father aspect, go check out my newest multi-chapter story, "Lucky in Fate." I'm not giving away anything that you won't read in the first chapter by saying that Severus is once again Harry's parent in this story. The twist is that the main focus of this story is the pairing of Draco/Ginny, my most favorite ship. I wanted to find a way to combine my two favorite concepts in one story and I think I am pulling it off so far. Go check it out and leave me a review, most readers are concerned with the whole D/G aspect but I'm intrigued by what everyone thinks of the S/H non-slash pairing as well.  
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